Let’s Talk About Sex: How To Deep-Throat

Ok, ok..This is one of the most commonly asked questions sent to my inbox, so today is the day we have this talk.

Take a breath, sit back, and enjoy the ride;)

For those of you who don’t know what it is, deep-throating is “the sexual act in which a person takes their partner’s entire erect penis deep into their mouth and down their throat” if we want to get textbook exact about it. The biggest issue girls have with deep-throating is the ever annoying gag reflex. Unfortunately I, along with most women, have a sensitive gag reflex. It’s important to know the proper way to go deep, because no dude wants a lap full of vomit. That’s not very cute.

My first tip is to relax. Relax your body, relax your throat, relax your mind. A lot unsuccessful deep-throating happens because the person panics and tenses up. You need to BREATHE. You say “how can I breathe when there is a dick blocking my airway?”. You breathe through your nose, that’s how. It’s really that easy.

Another obstacle that can get in the way of successful deep-throating, is your angle. The easiest way to make sure there is a straight shot right to your throat is to lay flat on your back with your head hanging slightly off the bed. The guy can then stand straight above you and go at it. The only downside to this position is the fact that you might get a hacky-sack to the forehead. But if you’re into that, then this position is for you!

Sometimes guys can get a little forceful during the act.  They will usually try and get you to go deeper by using their hands or trapping you between a prop. It’s only natural to want to bite down when you are having something rather forcefully shoved down your throat. But for the love of God, please keep your tongue flat over your bottom teeth. No guy wants you to accidentally bit down on their tender log. 

Deep-throating isnt for everyone.. So if you try all these tips, and still nothing works for you, here is one last tip that might just save you a lot of the stress over the matter.

Take your tongue and press it against your soft-pallet (the top part of your mouth right before your throat) and as the guy thrusts, it gives the illusion that he is as far back in your throat as he can go. Jokes on him, he’s not, and it feels just as good for him, but you won’t gag!

That’s all for now folks. Feel free to email me any questions or topics you’d like me to cover to lennoxleearrigucci@gmail.com

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I’ve Got A Girl Crush.. I Hate To Admit It, But…. It’s Hard Being Bi-Sexual In A Straight World

The Forbidden girl-crush. The crush you have that is completely wrong on so many levels. The crush that you cannot tell a single soul about because you know that they would just laugh in your face. The crush that you are embarrassed to have because you’re not quite sure how it came about.. Especially when it come out of fucking nowhere. That crush that comes about when you are sitting next to an “unattainable”(The name for the people that deep down you know will never be able to reciprocate) and you just look up at them and think, “God damn you are fucking beautiful.. What it would be like to fuck you.” *blushes* That is a real thought I have had before. I have literally experienced the trifecta of all unattainables in the last year. Married. Straight. And Co-worker. (Authors Note: I would like to buy a vowel and add “virgin” to the list of obstacles. Not unattainables, but obstacles… I can charm the pants off anyone. MOTHERFUCKING PUN INTENDED)

*I literally just laughed out loud at myself.

Anyways, I always fall for someone under one of those categories… Like… It would be nice to fall for a nice single gal or gent.. But unfortunately, that’s not how most of my crushes end up. I say “crush” because in these situations, I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m looking for quality time or sex. You know, every time I start to feel that godforsaken feeling of admiration for someone forbidden, I try to shut that shit down right away. Notice I said “try”. The next thing that I do is mentally overcome the “obstacles” that separate me from that person being attainable. And by attainable, I don’t mean available…I mean willing. So here is my thought process on it whenever a GIRL-crush comes about. I’ll talk about boy crushes in a later blog.

Straight.

This is the hardest of the obstacles to overcome. Some women are so set in their ways that the thought of even trying anything with a woman is definitely not a possibility. I don’t care if you are single, married, divorced, etc.. If you are curious about chick-sex…experiment, it can be a lot of fun if you trust the person you choose to engage with. The truth is, most women have the curiosity but not the opportunity to try things out. Bottom line though, if someone identifys as “straight” thats where the crush has to stop, because nothing will come of it. This is the hardest realization to come to. It literally hurts, when you want something so bad. Onto the next obstacle.

Married.
This obstacle is somewhat difficult to overcome. If someone is married, sometimes (not usually), they might have an open relationship. And if they don’t sometimes in heterosexual relationships, the male doesn’t mind if the woman experiments with another women. You know.. Dudes and the whole girl on girl fantasy.. Lol. I’ve known people that are ok with the woman being with another woman as long as the man is still in the room. Which is a double plus for me.. I get to have fun with someone’s wife or girlfriend, and then there’s the whole exhibitionist aspect of it. Onward ho.

Co-Worker or Professional Relationship

This obstacle is the least hard to overcome, mostly due to the fact that if both people are willing, it’s an easy secret to keep. I once “dated” a co-worker in a workplace that strictly forbid employee relationships. In fact, the better way to explain it point blank is… I was sleeping with my manager. We kept it a complete secret for many months, and only agreed to admit to it once we were both no longer working there. However, I have slept with people with jobs that I can NEVER tell a single soul about. If someone decides to breach their job contract in the aspect of having sexual relations with co-workers, employees, clients, or patients, I am bound in secrecy. Lucky for them, I’m great at keeping dirty little secrets. 

Some people would consider age a determining factor. I used to, so I get it.. But I no longer do. As long as both parties are willing, why the hell not.

In conclusion.. I understand that my ideas on the matter are a little warped, but thats truly what it is like to be bi-sexual in a location where not many people are willing to admit that they a gay, bi, trans, etc. But let me leave you with this little thought. People with obstacles are much more fun to pursue than the people that are willing from the start. Hehe!

Abusive Relationship: Why Didn’t You Leave?

Its not until you’ve had time to sit back and really reflect upon something, that you really start to understand the little bits and pieces and happenings that you didn’t see before.

For me, this reflection comes in many forms. Sometimes its just a passing thought. Sometimes its a feeling of wanting to go back to what I previously had. And sometimes it comes in the form of an overwhelming amount of tears and heartache. But every time it happens, I see things a little more for what they are, instead of what I thought they were.

After getting out of my most recent relationship, I’ve been recovering from an immense amount of abuse. And when I say abuse, I don’t mean that this person physically hurt me, I mean they emotionally beat me down until I was nothing but a shell of a person. Physical, or emotional.. the abuse is all the same. You can recover physically, but in both situations, psychological aftereffects are prevalent.

Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I had a passing thought. I’ve been in two serious relationships, and there were huge differences in the way that I functioned during them. I realized what a difference in security I felt. During my 1st, I had friends, I went out and was completely okay with being by myself. My second, not so much.

During my second, most recent serious relationship, I had completely closed myself off to everybody else around me. I would stay home and wait for my partner to get home. Everything in my life revolved around them, and doing what I could to make sure they wouldn’t leave. I wasn’t secure enough to leave the house with confidence that they would be there when I got back. So I stayed.

When they would leave, I had intense anxiety and distrust that they were in some way betraying me. I felt that way for good reasons, because that bond of trust had been broken many times before. But that being said, even though I knew what was going on, I stayed. I just couldn’t leave.  They kept me dangling, and whenever they would see me starting to stray, they would hook me and pull me back in.

     I always knew that flattery & mystery were a dangerous combination. If you can flatter someone, make them feel good, then hide behind a game of catch & release… You’ve hooked them. They hooked me in every way a person could possibly been taken in. Started with compliments. These were no more than a combination of pretty words put together to make me feel like nobody has had me feel before. They were empty, the meant nothing. Then came the mystery. Portraying a life like no other.. something only they could provide me.. and convinced me its something I needed. So in-return, the want, that ever-nagging craving for them began to grow more intense by the day.

Once I was no more than mere putty in their hand, they began to mold me. They would build me up, and then do something so terrible to tear me down, and just watch me burn for a few days. Once there wasn’t much left, they would then build me up for a moment, just to tear me down the next. And this was a vicious cycle that went on for months. But again, I stayed.

I stayed through verbal lashings over things that were beyond my control. I stayed through repeated betrayal of trust and cheating. I stayed through being nothing more than a wallet and a warm place to stay to them. Why did I stay, you ask? The answer to that question is something I still don’t know. Looking back, I had all the reason in the world to leave them, but I was too fearful of what my life would end up like if I did.

When all was said and done, there was nothing left to me. No personality, no desire to stick up for myself, and absolutely zero self-worth. This person took everything from me. And by that, I mean emotionally, they took everything I had. I wanted to die. I felt like there was nothing left to live for. If I didn’t have myself, what did I have? Nothing.

     When you lose yourself, that is when you have truly lost everything. And that, my friends, is the lowest a person could possibly be. – Lennox