Waiting for my food to show up is like waiting for the nurse to call your name to go into the doctors office. Anxiety..so much anxiety. I’m having second thoughts on whether I really want to eat it or not. Maybe I could just taste it and have it make its way to a napkin without my parents noticing. Or maybe I could just make a trip to the bathroom after to try and purge so I don’t have to feel the weight in my stomach for the rest of the night. Guilt, so much guilt and I haven’t even eaten anything yet. It’s been a solid week since I’ve had any sort of food what-so-ever. I feel ok. Dizzy and shaky, but ok. Why does this have to be so hard?