A little information beforehand…

Orthorexia Nervosa- condition that includes symptoms of obsessive behavior in pursuit of a healthy diet.

Orthorexia nerviest literally means “A fixation with righteous eating”

Disclaimer: There has been little research on orthorexia and is not listed in the official manual for psychological disorders, but I can tell you that it is a very real struggle.

Some psychologists to do not acknowledge orthorexia would prefer to not give it a distinct label.. or otherwise EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

EDNOS is an eating disorder that does not meet the criteria for anorexia nervosa or bulimia. Individuals with EDNOS usually fall into one of three groups: sub-threshold symptoms of anorexia or bulimia, mixed features of both disorders, or extremely atypical eating behaviors that are not characterized by either of the other established disorders

And… here we go!

 My whole life I have struggled with control. I’ve struggled to feel like I have any control what-so-ever. I need to find some sense of control and the only place I seem to find it is when it comes to my health and getting “healthy”. I must put this out there before I continue…. I am fat. I am not thin, I am not overweight, I am just plain fat. I do NOT have body dysmorphic disorder, and I am medically diagnosed “obese”. From time to time, I decide that this is the part of my life in which I need to gain some control. I have good intentions of getting healthy, but I just end up taking it… too far.
It starts off with me changing my eating habits. Right now, I have been on a low-carb, no sugar diet for almost 5 months. Then comes the exercise. I start to exercise 3-5 times a week.. and then it turns into 3-5 times a day. Once I can control my exercise and what I eat… usually I stop eating all together. Usually when I stop eating, I also stop exercising. I just don’t have the energy anymore to do it. Its like whenever I get started on the idea that I will finally, somehow lose the weight, things just take a turn for the worse. I’ve lost 40 lbs in a healthy way through diet changes and exercise, but I’m just now hitting the wall where I take it just a little bit further. This is where it gets serious. This is where it gets real.
Its been 24 hours, and the obsessiveness has taken over. I haven’t had anything but water and a couple protein shakes. I took an epsom salt bath, took some diet pills, and have been pumping myself full of laxatives since yesterday afternoon. Is this healthy? No. But for the moment.. I have some control.
When does getting healthy turn into an eating disorder? Well to answer that question.. it becomes an eating disorder once it has become an obsession. And it becomes an obsession when it takes over your mind.

5 thoughts on “Orthorexia-EDNOS

  1. ambivalencegirl January 18, 2016 / 10:32 pm

    Only you can answer that question. I probably have orthorexia but compared to where I was at I’m doing great. Compared to where I want to be, I have a ways to go. But I’m healthy and I eat and get enough nourishment everyday. So it’s all good until I decide to make a change.


      • ambivalencegirl January 18, 2016 / 10:36 pm

        Yes, very true. And it’s ultimately a choice. It does stink at times that eating has to be so simple yet so complicated.


      • lennoxleearrigucci January 18, 2016 / 10:38 pm

        Right? Sometimes I wonder why I always have to have some label to my “food routine” whether it’s vegan, vegetarian, orthorexic. Why can’t food..just be food?


      • ambivalencegirl January 18, 2016 / 10:42 pm

        Not sure but I’ve eaten “healthy” for 30 years now (except for my anorexic years interspersed) and I’m not thinking I’m going to change drastically.

        Liked by 1 person

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