Some things in life we are meant to know. Other things, we may never understand. I try to think of life as a spiral. It is forever moving forward, yet we are still connected to our past and the things that happened within it. I’d like to think that everything that has happened to me has shaped me for the better, but the truth of the matter is, it hasn’t. There are painful memories I wish I could forget, and good memories I wish would have lasted. But despite of what happened, good and bad, I am who I am, and I can’t deny the demons of my past.
Moving from Aberdeen, South Dakota to the little city of Fargo, North Dakota was one of the biggest decisions I had ever made. I wanted a place to start over. I wanted to be somewhere nobody knew my name. A clean slate was what I was seeking. My intentions were good, and I thought that getting away from my hometown would be the one thing to set me free. The sad truth is that no matter where you go, your past follows you. You can make new friends, and start a new job, but after awhile, they all start to resemble the people in your past that you so long to forget.
I don’t regret my move, not one bit. If anything, I loathe the fact that I didn’t do it sooner. I was a complete transformation of character. I finally had figured out who I was supposed to be. A writer. The only thing I’ve ever really been good at.
Even though I am the author of my own story in life, not all stories end with a happy ending. We can only hope that there are people to help us along the way, and when there isn’t, we learn to fight right through the tears and keep moving on through our beautiful journey we call life.